Something we’re all guilty of is comparing ourselves. With the rise of social media, I believe this has become more apparent because it’s so easy for us to look online and compare ourselves to every person we come across. It’s almost in our human nature to compare ourselves, so instead of me telling you how to stop doing it, I’m going to share with you 6 things you can do instead of comparing yourself.
1. List your own accomplishments
I always get stuck down the comparison trap of comparing my own journey to what someone else has achieved or where they are at in their own journey.
Of course, this can put me down massively as unlike most people my age, I haven’t gone down the same path out of school. I haven’t learnt to drive, I didn’t get my first job until I was in my twenties, I didn’t go to university and I have been home-bound with mental health issues for the past few years.
But one thing that always brings me back out of this is remembering what I have achieved and accomplished over the years. I’ve started my own business, I’ve overcome my fears, I’ve learnt to look after my mind and manage my emotions, I work with some amazing brands I’ve only ever dreamed of working with, I’ve self-taught myself everything I’ve known and much more.
Listing your own accomplishments and acknowledging what you have overcome, no matter how big or small they may be is a great way to give yourself a much-needed pat on the back, as well as being proud of yourself and boosting your confidence up.
2. Invest in yourself
We spend so much time wrapped up in what everyone else is doing that we can sometimes neglect ourselves. Take a step away from this and instead invest this time in pouring the energy into making ourselves feel good.
Create and nourish yourself. Work on yourself for yourself. Be kind to yourself. Make time to be there for yourself. Give yourself some love. Do it because you know you deserve it.
Take care of yourself and go after your own dreams, not someone else’s. I could have quite easily allowed doubt to creep in and the outside pressure to go do what everyone else was doing stop me from going after my own dreams. But I remembered how much I wanted to chase my dreams and make a success of them.
If I had just kept focused on what everyone else was doing and thinking I had to do the same, I wouldn’t have ever taken that first step to achieving my own goals.
When you give yourself permission to be selfish and to put yourself first, then you will realise just how significant you are and how much time you wasted on comparing yourself to other people.
3. Accept your journey
No one’s journey is the same. We’re all at different parts of our lives even if we have things in common. Everyone has a different story to tell and we’re all just trying to navigate our way through life. The best way to be at peace with your own journey is to accept it.
For a long time, I used to beat myself up for not being where I wanted to be or for putting my mental health issues first, but I began to ask myself why I was being so mean to myself and why I was fighting against my own happiness for so long.
By accepting where you’re at within your journey, you begin to see things shift and you can then begin to guide yourself into the next direction. Don’t just accept where you are at now. Accept where you have been and what your past involved.
I don’t regret the choices I made a few years ago when I was in the deepest darkest places. I don’t hate myself for being mentally unwell. In some ways, I am grateful I went to those dark places because the positive life lessons they have taught me definitely outweigh the hard times.
4. Get rid of what makes you feel bad
If your biggest comparison is the people you see on social media, then go ahead and hit that unfollow button. Sure you may feel guilty, but is it really worth making yourself feel bad on a daily basis by following this person?
Detox your socials. Remove the people who make you feel more bad than good. Follow those who inspire you and make you feel good about yourself. Use your social media wisely and use it in a way that is going to benefit you. You want to have a good experience from it, not a bad one.
I now limit my time on Twitter because I find that place a breathing ground for any offensive and negative drama that I really do not have the energy for. Now I like to spend my time on Instagram, where I love getting involved in the blogging community where it is much more supportive.
5. Forget perfectionism
I think I’m probably always going to have perfectionist tendencies but I do now though have a lot more realistic view on life that shies away from this ideal world that perfectionism seems to try to create.
Reality is that no one is perfect. It seems so simple, but why do we strive so much to be perfect or have a perfect life?
I think the reason we believe this perfect life might exist is that we always see such glossy and staged photos, videos, movies, adverts and tv shows, that make us think that we have to try to have the same kind of life.
The other day I went out for breakfast with Matt and I put a picture of the breakfast on my Instagram story before I ate the food. Once I had eaten the food and later on in the day, I put a post up on my Instagram page and I actually admitted that it wasn’t all that because it wasn’t. It was average, to say the least, and I like to try to keep it real on my socials.
Because yes I might post staged photos, but my captions are always honest and raw because I love to share what’s really going on behind the scenes like if I’m feeling down or unwell, then I’m going to bloody share that. It’s not for sympathy or attention, but because that’s what’s currently going on in the present for me and I’m not going to force myself to be any different.
So if I could give you one piece of advice, then it would so just be yourself!
Accept your flaws, your quirks, those parts of you that are imperfect. Those people who you think are perfect and have it all together definitely don’t. So stop comparing yourself to them and instead focus on the amazing person that is you.
Do you know who is always going to be there for you?
So befriend yourself.
Be your own biggest cheerleader. Support yourself and give yourself some love the same way you would a loved one. Instead of putting all your time into comparing yourself to a stranger on the internet or your old best friend who’s got new friends now, take the time to drive some of that energy into being there for yourself.
The more I continue on my own self-love and mental health journey, the more I realise just the importance of being there for yourself. Sure it’s great and always appreciated having someone there for you, but depend on yourself, assure yourself that you’re there for you and that you will always have your own back.
Nurturing that inner best friend to myself has been the biggest help in not only increased my confidence and self-worth, but it’s also helped me to build on my relationship with myself and the truth that I have for myself which I never had before.
What do you do instead of comparing yourself?